Did i ever have regrets abotu not chosing poly? All the time. 'What If's just pop into my head all the time, everytime i lie down on the bed i think, 'What if i went to poly instead?'

Will i do better?

Will i be able to handle 'A's?

Where am i gonna go if i fail MI?

And that made me had my first white hair. Lots of doubting questions which eats away at my soul everytime i tried to ignore it. I don't feel that it's going to go anyway anytime soon. I always looked back and say what now? I tried to look forward, telling myself 'You already chose this path so fucking stick to it and stop looking back' but it's not working, I just can't not look back.

I've never been the studying kind yet, i chose MI which is pretty much like Sec school but hell lot harder. What was i thinking, what could have been done? And everytime the results come back, i'll be thinking about the same questions over and over again... and a little part of me dies on the inside. Will i be able to get rid of the past regrets and questions, haunting me, consuming my very life? I don't think so. Insecurity is a funny thing isn't it? The more you try not to think of it, the more glaring it becomes.

And they say shame is the worst emotion ever, i say regrets is the worst. The feeling of helplessness is just overwhelming.

"A forceful fist strikes the wall cement
The madness replaced with the burning pain
It would have been easier to repent
Is taking your anger out like this sane?

Those crazy screams at the top of the lungs
Storm out of the room, want to be alone
All that hatred, resentment and crazy runs
Behaves like it will go away if you cry and moan

“Way to be mature,” repeats in your head
Remorse is all that you can feel at this time
You wish to undo everything or be dead
But you keep on making the same mistakes

I’m so sorry, don’t want to be like this
For once, I want to walk away sane"

Adapted and modified from Regret by ~lovelesssoul @ deviantart

Possibly the most hilarious song ever.